unorganized-ness: worst feeling in the world

I've been feeling so unorganized these past few days; I don't know what to do. I admit that I'm a bit rough around the edges, and usually never more than an organized mess..however, right now I feel like all control is lost. And I hate it. With the impending truck-loads of work due in the next couple of weeks, I'm panicking. And I hate how I don't know what happened...it was only a few weeks ago when I was on top of school work--ahead, even.

I'm not going to say that its due to this blog. I think its done me good.
Part of it, I think, is my lack of motivation.
But how can I be motivated when I don't even know what I'm striving for?? What is it that I'm trying to achieve? I don't have a clue. I'm having trouble focusing on what I'm doing right now since I don't know what comes next. And its not that I need to see whats years ahead of me; I know that it doesn't matter right now. Its just that I've always believed that I was on the right path...and that no matter what happened, it would all work out. But right now I'm questioning it. It feels like I'm going in the wrong direction. I need to stop and focus.

Hocus pocus.

Focus.

Focus.